Gala focuses on family violence

Combatting the scourge of family violence was the theme of a gala dinner for International Women’s Day.

Held last Friday evening (08 March) at the Miramare Gardens Function Centre at Terrey Hills, the inaugural ‘Torchlight Gala’ event hosted by the Torchlight Foundation was well attended and featured an impressive line-up of guest speakers, including 2015 Australian of the Year Rosemary ‘Rosie’ Batty AO (image below).

2015 Australian of the Year Rosie Batty AO

Ms Batty delivered a powerful reminder to all present that family violence remained an ongoing social issue that was more pervasive than many believed, but change is possible.

“Family violence was a dirty little secret. Generations of children have borne the brunt of knowing that somehow, they had to keep it quiet. We are still a victim blaming society, but we’re changing.

“When I spoke out when Luke was murdered, I spoke to the media on my nature strip within 24 hours of him being killed. I had no idea what I was doing, I had no script, no agenda, no plan. No one expected me to talk, I don’t know why I did, but I’m glad I did, and I have never once regretted it.

“I have been heard. I’ve been believed. The police that attended and the support that I got was amazing. They reassured me I was not to blame,” said Ms Batty.

Her 11-year-old son Luke was brutally and publicly murdered by his father on 12 February 2014, when he was attacked at cricket practice in a Melbourne suburb. Ms Batty said in retrospect the signs were there, but she never believed her former partner to be capable of such a heinous act.

“He was violent and abusive to me. Somehow I thought I could manage and navigate it. Never for one minute did I think he would harm Luke. Not one red flag across the spectrum of red flags caused anyone to think Luke was at risk.

“I could beat myself up and spend my life regretting the decisions I made. I don’t do that. I went through a coronial inquest, and that found the only person to blame is the person who chose to be violent, abusive, and murder his own son.

“There is no excuse, there is not enough reason why. It is the ultimate act of power, control, and revenge,” said Ms Batty.

Speaking as part of a panel discussion, Barrister and family law expert Jill McIntosh (image above, second from right) told a stunned audience, that even as she was acting for perpetrators of family violence in the courts, she was herself the victim of it.

“It happens to people right in front of you, and you don’t even know that it is happening. My mother, my daughter did not know what was happening to me.

“I am educated. I have been invited to the judiciary. I speak with parliamentarians, I have friends, judges, the highest people that we consider in our society I can talk to at any time. They did not know what was happening to me.

“I was the subject of over 150 acts of violence. I was strangled, I had things thrown at me, I had tables upturned. I was attacked before work, during work and after work. I would have to walk in to face a Judge, wiping tears from my eyes, trying to stand there and make sense of what was happening to me,” said Ms McIntosh.

Founder and CEO of the Torchlight Foundation Lisa Cotton (image above, left) said that after her own experience of a coercive relationship, Torchlight aims to help women escape abusive relationships.

“My marriage broke down after 12 years and then I was targeted by somebody. We weren’t married, we weren’t de facto, we weren’t in a relationship. So what happened? He was threatening me to do what he wanted me to do in all areas of my life, otherwise he would destroy me.

“I had a lot of friends, I had a good community network. Somehow I ended up in this trap, then it got worse when I got support and tried to get out. I have such passion for people who are going through such difficult things, because I totally get it,” said Ms Cotton.

Also speaking on the night was Detective Sergeant Damian Loone (panel image, centre), who was the lead investigator in the Lynette Dawson murder case. Attending in the audience was Northern Beaches Police Area Command Superintendent Patrick Sharkey, demonstrating senior police support for combatting domestic violence.

According to the Torchlight Foundation website, they aim to raise awareness, provide support and advocate for systemic change to combat domestic violence. Friday evening’s inaugural Torchlight Gala was in support of projects designed to support victims of domestic violence, including children, and to actively engage men.

Images: Northern Beaches Advocate

For confidential advice, support, and referrals related to domestic and family violence, contact 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732), The NSW Domestic Violence Line (1800 65 64 63), or Men’s Referral Service (1300 766 491).

Information about the NSW Police Force response to domestic and family violence can be found on the NSW Police website.

Reports of domestic and family-related crime or abuse can be made by contacting or attending your local police station. In an emergency, call Triple Zero (000).

Anyone with information relating to domestic and family-related violence is urged to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000. Information is treated in strict confidence.